That's true, my Son... :)
Hmmm.
My Husband and Adzryl are already asleep now. Me? Well, here I am... Writing away while having lots of these and thats in my head! Hmph!
Yeah, I've been doing lots and lots of thinking lately...
About work!!!
About my little family...
About my little Baby... Ohh! Nih yang paling banyak!
At this very moment plak, my fikiran and hati tak tenang. Tu yang tak tido lagi tu. Haihhh.
Just now, while holding my little Adzryl and trying to dodoi him to sleep... All of a sudden, my eyes started to fill with tears. *sigh*
3 days more before I'm back at work.. :(
I will miss you terribly, my little guy! Ummmuahhh... :(I just realized that starting next week, I'll be spending only FEW hours with my Baby and the rest of the day, he'll be seeing strangers (Read: Babysitter or pengasuh kat Nursery) and only get to be with his Daddy during night time! :(
My Adzryl usually wakes up around 08:00ish for his feeding time. After I BF him, then he'll be back asleep... Pastu dia akan bangun balik around 10:00ish for the next feeding. After BF, he'll either sleep back or stay awake and layan diri sendiri... Yes! He'll be goo goo gaa gaa'ing sorang2 kat atas katil sebelah me! Hihi!
So thinking about next week... Everything will change! :(
If he wakes up around 10:00ish, I have to bath him quickly, BF him, and play with him as much as I can. Then I have to pack his things and make sure everything is there and complete! Because by 14:00 (2pm), I have to send him off to his Babysitter or Nursery (Read: I haven't decided on this yet, believe it or not!)...
Ohh! He'll be staying there (Read: With either the Babysitter/Nursery) and I'll be working from evening till late at night. His Daddy plak will probably fetch him back lepas berbuka puasa. Well, I think so! Sebab now pun memang dia selalu balik rumah right on time either before or after berbuka puasa!
Hmmm. Pastu, I will only get to see my Adzryl back at around 00:00ish (12 midnight+). Itupun kalau I dapat the earliest 3-to-12 shift! :( So cuba kira berapa jam yang saya ada dengan anak kesayangan saya tu dalam 1 hari!? :(
Sedih laaa...
I know that I've been writing about this over and over again... Mesti ada readers yang dah menyampah kan... Tapi nak buat camne!?? Sedih laaa... Sedih sedih sedihhhh sebab kena jauh ngan my Baby... Pulak tu, I only have FEW hours jer with him in a day!! Spend time dengan dia pagi2, tengah hari dah kena hantar tempat orang... Pastu tengah2 malam (Read: The following day dah kiranya!) baru jumpa balik! How depressing... Iskk! :(
My wish now is...
I nak kerja normal hours, please!!! But it'll take time to get one... Plus, kena resign dulu... Then kena serve the company for at least 2 months before berhenti... Haa! Kan makan masa tu... Then nak cari kerja baru time2 sekarang nih memang susah sangat kan! :(
Kalau ada peluang kerja dari rumah, rasa nak cuba jer... But will it work for me!? Bukan ker kerja dari rumah kena banyak keluar duit dulu before dapat hasilnya? Haihhh...
And paling paling difikirkan sekarang...
I hope my Adzryl kenal me as his Mummy!! Err... Do you think he'll forget me!? I hope not... :~(
Hishhh... Pening2!!
You know what... Tadi I ada terfikir nak buat ni...
Since I have only 30 minutes "BREAK" time per day (Read: 15 minutes before & after "Lunch") & 1 hour "LUNCH BREAK" per day... I rasa I nak korbankan masa "LUNCH BREAK" tuh laa...
I mean, I will use my "BREAK" time to pump out my milk & for toilet visits... Andddd... During "LUNCH BREAK", I rasa I nak balik rumah to spend time with my Baby & Husband. You see, I can inform my TL that I want to be the last person going out for "Lunch", then I boleh laa balik rumah kejap and jumpa my boys! Alaa. Tak makan pun takpe. I nak balik sebab, 1) Nak BF my Adzryl directly, 2) Sebab nak spend time with my Baby. I takmo dia rasa cam Mummy dia takde waktu malam. I know I will miss him terribly. So will he... Right!? :(...
Hmmm.
Perjalanan pergi-balik dari Cyberjaya & SK will take around 30 minutes time. Dapat spend time with him for 20 to 30 minutes pun takpe! :) You know, dulu masa mula2 kawen... I mean, last year's Ramadhan kan... I selalu balik rumah masa buka puasa, just to spend some time with my Husband. Memang agak rushing laa but it was worth it!! So this time, why not kan!? I sanggup... :)
Pasal buka puasa tu, hmmm takpe! I akan try to curi2 makan at my cubicle! Alaa. Makan light2 pun takpe, asalkan makan kan? Takde plak orang cakap, bila waktu berbuka kena makan berat... Nanti I balik kerja, boleh laa makan berat2 kan!?? Betul tak? :)
Well, I'm trying to stay positive here. I taknak "just because" I work odd hours jadi penyebab I tak dapat spend time with my Baby. I will try my best to fulfill apa I cakap nih...
Please support me, people!?? :)
Rasa lega sket dah tulis2 kat sini... I takmo sedih2 selalu, nanti kurang BM! Hihihi! :P
So next Monday, I'll update you on my plan nih okay?
Please please please pray for me!
I will miss your cebik the most!! :( Be good when Mummy's not around, okay Sayang? :~(
Ohh... I sooo want to be Adzryl's SUPERMUMMY!!!!! ;D
Hmmm. I'll make my move now. I miss my Baby yang tengah tido dalam bilik with his Daddy tu... :) Good Night, people!
Thanks for reading my ramblings malam2 buta nih... :P
13 comments:
tabahkan diri..die tak lupenye mummy die..
babe..sedihnye.. i know how u fee...ive been thru the worst times as a momma also. as for me, better hantar kat babysitter if ur babysitter is ur neighbour or sim1 u know. and if Adzryl is the only baby she babysits, dats even better. But if u fel nursery is ok, then up to u. ingat tak dulu i was afraid to leave harriz coz i thought he wud not recognize me as his momma..? Nita, I left him for almost 2 months, and guess wat,now I am the one he recognizes the most. bila i smpai umah babysitter tu, dia dh tknk pndang the baysitter sgt dh, asyk tgk i je..happy x..? so u pn sama je la. babies sume cmtu. dia knal mak dia...woo..pjg nye. hopefully i manage to make u feel a BIT better la babe. if anything, text me. muaaxxx to adzrryl n to u. =)
oh, memangla sedih... sape tak sedihkan? huhuhu.. sabar yer knit.. i pun sama...but dun worry la.. baby n mommy dia ada chemistry sendiri yg buat baby akan kenal mommy dia no matter what babe..so, u jgn risau ok! yg penting bila u tido dengan dia, peluk2 dia slalu bagi jgn hilang bau badan u tue pd dia..huhuhu...
itula anita...maria pun sebelum ni asyik kena blk kije lmbt2..(even nama die kerja office hour)..terpk mcmnla baby maria nnt..harus cabut awal jugakkan..tp bos mcm tak fhm je..hhuhu..i want a job yg blh blk on time...waaaaaaaa....
iskk sedihla nit. U buat la yg terbaik utk u and your family. Kalau u mampu buat, u buat, jgn memudaratkan diri, udah la..be strong k! :-)
i know how u feels,jgn la sedey2 babe, wether u like it or not u haf to..xpe, anggaplah pengorbanan seorang ibu :)
dun wori la,Adzryl mestila kenal mummy dia no matter wat..:)
be strong k, give urself time, lepas sebulan dua you'll get used to it k :)
babe...he wont forget u.he knows u pon kena sacrifice tinggal dia sbb nak kerja...makin comel ini budak...ngeeee...i still love the nursery thou...hehehhehehee...but then make a wise choice.dun worry...he'll be safe.doa banyak2...
ala jgn sedih2..baby sure akan kenal ibunya..dun worry..i rase the best solution may b u try cari keje yg normal hours..mungkin ada rezeki anak u..sape tau kan..btw, take a good care..
hey kak nit. reading from yr story, i just realized where u're working. cos i worked there too masa final year dulu. part time masa buat project. goshh wat a coincidence huh? ramai gak bdk uniteng keja kat sana kan.
anyways, pls dont be sad. u know that u're doing the best that u can to spend time with your fam. keja normal hours sama je i rasa. u're a tough mom. things will go fine. jst make sure the person taking care of adzryl is trustworthy.
alahai comeynye gambar adzryl cebik tuhh... guguggagaga..
Salam perkenalan...
Itu la pengorbanan seorang ibu...bukan senang nak jadi ibukan...
dulu i pun facing the same problem as u...end up time second child deliver I decided to resign...cukup2 la depress time anak 1st dulu....
I doa semoga u dpt menghadpi nya dgn penuh kesabaran dan tabah k...
comel la ur baby...geram kat pipinya tu...
ohh AO ke? hehe. sorry2. dh salah la nmpknya. i kat tpt lain kak. lupa plak kat cyber byk comp keja shift & odd hrs. but still, i understand wat ur going thru, kak nita. be strong k. hey add la lea kat ym: nuzz_leia
i feel u too :( i pon hari tu nk tinggal dgn my mom, nangis tk hengat. dalam kereta on da way balik kl nagis jer, nk tido nagis, terawih nagis, kt office nagis, baca entry u ni nk nagis...omigosh. i told my hubby cant live like this not without my baby. and hantar nursery or babysitter..i rasa this one kind of feeling..i rasa mcm kejam to my baby sbb hantar dia dekat rumah org / strangers.
ok, i need to stop sbb i dh start nk nages :(
dats why I buat Usana. I was introduced to Usana about 2 months before labor, mcm dah rezeki Ichiro kot. I terus full swing business lepas labor means masa confinement. and by now, i dh ada steady side income every week about RM400 ++ a week. tgh strive for RM800 a week. U can try it also since u ada followers dekat blog kan, shud be easier and Usana is among high rated products in the world. So, put ur worries aside, now it's time to do something for the sake of our baby. Waste no time :)
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